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Showing posts with the label worst

ESCAPE PLAN 2: HADES - REVIEW

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Review available on the new website .

HOLMES & WATSON - REVIEW

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Review available on the new website .

TOP 10 GOOFIEST ZARDOZ MOMENTS

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Zardoz is awesome: here are 10 reasons why (out of like a million).

SON OF THE MASK - REVIEW

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Review available on the new website .

MODERN PROBLEMS - REVIEW

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Released in 1981, Modern Problems is an off-beat comedy starring Chevy Chase as a loser air traffic controller who is dumped by his girlfriend then somehow gets covered in nuclear waste which leads to him acquiring telekinetic powers, for some reason. Chevy Chase is a comedian who could easily elevate silly or potentially bland roles to something special. While his movie career has stumbled since the late 90's, probably at least partly due to him having a bad rep with his peers and being apparently difficult to work with, he remains one of the most reliable comedy actors out there. It's a shame, then, that Modern Problems is not a better film. Made when Chase was near the peak of his career, it not only failed to capture the actor's comedic talents but failed to tell a funny, or at least entertaining, story. The concept, while random, could have translated into a really fun movie: Chevy Chase has superpowers, he uses them in silly ways, goes too far, has to redeem him

MY TOP 10 WORST FILMS OF 2017

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My least favourite films of 2017 get the Top 10 treatment.

THE BYE BYE MAN - REVIEW

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One horror movie that stood out in 2017, mostly thanks to its silly title, is The Bye Bye Man . Based on a chapter from Robert Damon Schneck's book "The President's Vampire", the film received negative reviews despite its relative box-office success. The Bye Bye Man follows Elliot (Douglas Smith), his girlfriend Sasha (Cressida Bonas) and best friend John (Lucien Laviscount) as they move into a house near their college. Soon enough, a lot of strange things start happening with Elliot having hallucinations and all three of them becoming increasingly paranoid of each other. The opening sequence, in which a man snaps and starts killing friends and family in an American suburb in the 60's, is genuinely chilling but, sadly, it doesn't set the tone for the rest of the film. The build-up to the titular monster is slow but rather effective as every creak inside the house and something as trivial as a coat hanging on the wall appears spooky. Then Elliot starts to

THE ROOM - REVIEW

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Few films have captured the hearts and minds of audiences quite as much as Tommy Wiseau's The Room . To some it's the worst movie ever made, to others it's one of the best but the reasons for both points of view are basically the same. With James Franco's The Disaster Artist  (based on Greg Sestero's book) currently in theatres with its slight peek behind the scenes of what is often seen as one of the best worst movies ever made, it's worth going back and revisiting the real deal. Since its modest release back in 2003, The Room has gained a cult following and is currently playing in many cinemas all over the US, the UK and beyond as fans arm themselves with plastic spoons and quote every line enthusiastically, having a good time throughout celebrating the film, making an event of it. While there are some comedic elements to the film, it isn't exactly the black comedy Wiseau has described it as so don't expect an intentional laugh riot. In fact, like

ACTING MASTERCLASS: LOST IN SPACE

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A lesson in great acting courtesy of Lost In Space .

TOP 20 WORST LOST IN SPACE LINES

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I narrow it down to 20 hilariously bad  Lost In Space  lines.

WHY HIM? - REVIEW

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Because Christmas wouldn't be complete without an obligatory raunchy holiday-themed Hollywood comedy, 2016 gifted us Why Him? starring Bryan Cranston and James Franco as a mismatched potential father and son-in-law who finally meet around Christmas time as hilarity supposedly ensues. The plot sees Stephanie (Zoey Dutch) invite her parents to meet her older boyfriend Laird (Franco) for the first time after it is revealed via a disastrous Skype call that they were seeing each other for a while. As it turns out, Laird is not only the super rich CEO of a video game company but also an eccentric, impulsive weirdo who just says and does the first thing that pops into his head. Having such a wacky character clash with the comparatively uptight and square Ned (Cranston) should have been an easy way to bring some laughs to the table, much like how Planes, Trains and Automobiles did back in 1987. One big problem becomes apparent very quickly, however: neither Bryan Cranston or James Fr

BATMAN AND HARLEY QUINN - REVIEW

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Review available on the new website .

DO WE NEED ANOTHER FLATLINERS?

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Some thoughts on the new Flatliners .

IS THE DEATH NOTE MOVIE REALLY THAT BAD?

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Some thoughts on Netflix's new Death Note movie.

LOST IN SPACE - REVIEW

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CLICK HERE for the review, which was posted for the first instalment of Review A Bad Movie Day on September 8th.

JUMPY JEFF - REVIEW A BAD GAME DAY

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My written review for this year's Review A Bad Game Day was Jumpy Jeff , an iPhone game with a difference: it's terrible. For all other RABGD reviews, here's the link .

SUPER MARIO BROS. - REVIEW

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Once upon a time, Hollywood studios made an attempt at bringing Nintendo's most iconic video game character to life in live-action form. Super Mario Bros. starred Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo as Mario and Luigi respectively and it was a commercial and critical failure. Adapting a game franchise as surreal as Super Mario Bros. was always going to be a challenge, especially for a Hollywood studio in the early 90's. So, instead of attempting to recreate the colourful, imaginative world depicted in the games, the directors decided to ground the characters in a more realistic, yet still bizarre, setting. The plot, which sees the two plumbers having to cross over to another dimension in order to rescue a princess, is relatively simple with Dennis Hopper's evil reptilian dictator King Koopa looking to open up a portal that would allow him to rule both his dimension and ours being the main challenge for our heroes. Not translating the games directly for the big screen was a

TRANSFORMERS: THE LAST KNIGHT - VLOG 11/07/17

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I rant at length about Transformers: The Last Knight .

TRANSFORMERS: THE LAST KNIGHT - REVIEW

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Michael Bay returns to direct yet another Transformers sequel as the popular yet also critically reviled franchise again promises a darker, more emotional film packed with big, bombastic action scenes and a post-apocalyptic setting. Transformers: The Last Knight opens on a perplexing note as we're thrown into a full-on battle involving the 12 Knights of the Round Table including Merlin the Wizard (not kidding): a Stanley Tucci in full Monty Python mode. As it turns out, Merlin's magical powers were lent to him by early Transformers who allowed him to unleash dragons and such. Somehow, this has an impact on present day where Transformers are outlawed because they are blamed for reducing parts of Chicago to dust. Cade Yeager (Mark Wahlberg) is given a talisman by a dying Transformer Knight and he becomes the titular "last knight" as he is supposedly chosen to help defeat evil. With Optimus Prime busy floating in space and talking to octopus-haired robot villaine

MANOS: THE HANDS OF FATE - REVIEW

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There are bad movies and then there are borderline unwatchable bad movies. Manos: The Hands Of Fate would have probably remained in the latter category if it hadn't been for Mystery Science Theater 3000 's entertaining riff of the infamous stinker. This is a bizarre little zero budget horror movie from 1966 and pretty much everything about it is a disaster from the awful performances and the nonsensical script to the awkward direction and editing. The plot sees a family get lost while on a drive in the desert before becoming trapped in a lodge run by some kind of dodgy pagan cult. The leader of said shady group is The Master (Tom Neyman), he wears a long black poncho with a red hand motif, one of the film's most memorable images, he has several wives and sacrifices people to the deity he worships called "Manos" (aka "Hands" in Spanish). His disciple is a twitchy weirdo named Torgo (John Reynolds), who has inexplicably puffed-up knees and his own the