TheRetroCritic

I compile 20 of the worst lines from Shaq's infamous superhero outing Steel . It's on now!

Back when Shaquille O'Neal was in movies because... basketball (?) we got Steel , a superhero movie based on the DC comics character with good old Shaq in the lead. Willingly ignoring the whole Superman connection to the character save for a shot of Shaq's "Man Of Steel" tattoo, the film instead decides to do its own thing with Steel by packing the story with new supporting characters and giving him another, simpler origin story. Released the same year as Spawn , Steel unfortunately failed to wow critics and audiences alike and it's still seen as one of the most misguided comic-book films out there. Despite a healthy budget, Steel still managed to look cheap somehow with the hero's costume not looking metallic so much as it looked rubbery and thrown together. Shaq's performance also left a lot to be desired as his constant toothy grins and stiff demeanour didn't exactly sell Steel as a moody tough guy going around the streets of Los Angeles making

Patrick Swayze. In a Mad Max -style post-apocalyptic future. With a sword. In the 80's. Why would you NOT watch that movie?! It almost sounds too good to be true, and it is. The film starts off just like you'd hoped, with a very silly, very cheap-looking sequence involving Swayze being attacked by sand mummies. To give you an idea, the scene ends with Swayze making the SAND bleed. Yup, it is that awesome. Then he meets up with an old friend, some martial arts master and/or sheriff-type dude and just when you expect things to go all Kung-Fu , a bunch of bad leather-wearin' rejects from Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome show up to drag the plot down to something resembling a cliched western minus the hats. Which I do like, genre-bending is welcome in most films as far as I'm concerned, but I really wanted Steel Dawn to go all out. Instead of ripping off every Mad Max film and every Sergio Leone flick ever made, why not differentiate from that Mel Gibson-starring

Are you ready? You better be: *creams*

Well, it's the weekend and although many more Batman things are in store for the rest of Bat Month, including my thoughts on The Dark Knight Rises , here's more DC goodness in the shape of the first teaser trailer for Zack Snyder's Man Of Steel starring Henry Cavill. Wow, a "gritty" Superman movie?! It's so crazy it just might work... 

Zack Snyder is a weird one. Directing career so far: 300 , Watchmen , OWLS, Sucker Punch, Superman. I can't say it's been a smooth, flawless ride so far but it's been...interesting. Even the best of the bunch, Watchmen, was far from perfect and failed to to live up to the source material's deeper aspects. What it seems to come down to is a disconnect between style and content. Snyder's films, Sucker Punch included, look fab from start to finish and the over-ambition is always welcome as it gives us the sense that there's nothing Mr Snyder will shy away from. Alas this can also prove to be something of a curse. Titanic scales, tedious slo-mos, gratuitous sex/violence, CGI up the ass, grungy pop music...these seem to be regulars now when it comes to Snyder's films. He's like a Michael Bay wrapped inside a Robert Rodriguez. And although I can't stand 300 and care not for owls I enjoyed Watchmen in parts and was looking forward to this new comic b

With casting news still coming up, the latest of which was Laurence Fishburne playing Perry White, I was under the impression that the project was still coming together very slowly and nothing had been settled on. But, of course, with only Green Lantern and an evasive Dark Knight Rises to face the mightily productive Avengers , I guess something had to give. So here we finally have a first look at Henry Cavill in that iconic costume: First impressions? Is Superman robbing a bank?  I'm kidding, he looks...like Superman. Which is a pretty good sign I would say. With the film coming out in 2013 (in a million years), it looks like we can expect a trailer probably around about the Avengers release...conveniently. Lets hope director Zack " Watchmen " Snyder doesn't fall into the Bryan Singer trap of imitating the old Superman movies and bring something fresh and new to the table.