TheRetroCritic

Everyone's favourite super-spy is back with another instalment and, this time, he's taking on the head of the infamous, shady organisation SPECTRE. Directed by Skyfall maestro Sam Mendes, SPECTRE opens big and in terms of pre-titles credit scenes it doesn't disappoint. The beautifully shot sequence includes an über-long tracking shot which opens at the heart of the smoky Mexican Day Of The Dead street celebrations and ends on a rooftop with Daniel Craig's suited 007 quietly staking out a bad guy through a sniper lens. Everything you want from a Bond film is in that sequence: a beautiful woman, face-punching, buildings crumbling, a tongue-in-cheek lol moment and a smooth lead up to an elaborate credits sequence. Speaking of which, the latter looks slick but is perhaps a little too busy and distracted for its own good. Plus Sam Smith really should have let someone with more oomph sing "Writing's On The Wall" because as it stands it makes that forgetta

Pay attention, 007. Your new mission finally has a name: Also, a teaser poster: Your new villain, by the way, will be played by the ever-wonderful Christoph Waltz. Agent 2015 better get here soon...

As my endless search for the funniest and best bad movie around continues, I find myself sitting for an hour waiting for some rubbish-looking octopus to show up in a spy movie set in a submarine.  And although the wait is obviously not worth it, there is at least enough silliness involved here to keep me entertained. You've essentially got two movies in one here: a watchable spy TV movie starring a Daniel Craig lookalike as a Russian terrorist and an awfully boring horror B-movie about a giant octopus messing around with a submarine filled with forgettable characters. Putting these two films together, shockingly, doesn't work and you'll soon find yourself not caring about the monster and just wishing you were watching the spy movie instead. Dire special effects, terrible but fun over (and under) acting, evil Daniel Craig dressed-up like an old lady, Carolyn Lowery's slutty "scientist", the line: "She's holding, baby!": there